Moshimo...
by RiKa1
Summary: PG for the language, 'Moshimo...' means 'If Only...' It won't apply to all FY characters, only a few of them. Please RnR!
1. Nuriko and Tasuki

**Moshimo...**

Note: FY ain't mine. And yes, I got the title from my all time favorite Sakura Taisen! One of the songs... *mutters* ANYWAY plz R&R~ Arigato gozaimashita. Oh yeah, let's just say everybody got reincarnated and everything was okay. JUST FINE. Nobody died, that is. Er...Shiyo is mine. And everybody except Tamahome live in the palace, I dunno why, everybody meaning the Suzaku Shichiseishi.

_The story begins..._

1 : Nuriko and Tasuki

The palace was quiet. It **was** 5 in the morning. Then some dumb coconut fell out from the sky...

Two coconuts, to be exact. 

"Ouch!" Kusanagi Shiyo exclaimed as Yuuki Miaka's bag full of snacks landed heavily on her. (_Okay, 3 dumb coconuts, including Miaka's bag. Happy?_) Miaka landed heavily on the bag and Shiyo screamed, causing all the birds in the palace garden, in which they had landed in, to fly out from the trees and screech, waking up the entire palace. Well, almost the entire palace.

"Can you be more careful?" Shiyo exclaimed. Miaka ignored her and opened the bag of snacks and began checking them. As Miaka reached "prawn crackers" Shiyo whispered to herself in awe, "This place is huge..." Shiyo was from an advanced planet and although she **looked** human, well, she was half anyway, she was actually half-Signocian. Signocia was another planet altogether- Well, never mind about that. Let's get on with the story.

Shiyo was fascinated with ancient civilizations and so she visited Earth, which was what her planet looked like 4000 years ago. From her planet she brought along many chemicals which would seem magical to people of our era, what more the people living in the era they were in now?

She was in the same class as Miaka and Yui, and Yui always asked her a lot about her planet. Of course, on the first day of school, she said she was from another planet, nobody believed her. Anyway, let's get on with the story. 

Ahem. Shiyo then asked Miaka, "Hey Mi, how come it's so noisy?" Miaka then looked up. "Oh. You've woken up the whole palace, that's all." She then went back to "potato chips" and started to dig for her chocolate.

Shiyo gulped. The palace guards were closing in on the both of them. "Mi...Why are they...Uh..." Miaka looked up again, irritated. "What?! I was on macadamia nut and you disturbed me." The guards saw the Maiden of Suzaku and let out a gasp of respect and began back tracking rapidly muttering, "We seek your forgiveness Great Maiden..."

"Hey...Cool. You're popular here, huh, Mi?" 

"Stop calling me Mi! There, finished! Norwegian...Yup, that's all. Now, shall we go?" 

"Where are we going?" 

"To the emperor's room," Miaka shrugged casually. "Huh? I thought that's supposed to be forbidden?" 

"It's not forbidden to me." 

"Oh. And why couldn't Yui come again?" 

"Uh......*doesn't dare to say her cooking landed Yui in hospital*" 

"Never mind, let's go. *anxious to see how 'Stone Age' looked like*"

* * *

"Hotohori~! I brought the friend I was telling you about!" Miaka called out. Hotohori 'swept' out of his room and put his face close to Shiyo's. She blushed and said, "You're the emperor? Kakkoi (cute)..." Then Hotohori asked, "Tell me, am I beautiful?" "....Uh....I guess. Yeah." Hotohori seemed mildly satisfied with this answer and told Miaka, "Apparently this friend of yours isn't as intelligent as you described her to be. If there's nothing else...See you later, Miaka." He then went off to the throne room.

"Hey, I thought Taka was supposed to come?" 

"Uh.......*afraid to say she landed Taka in hospital too*"

"Never mind. Hey, who's THAT?"

"Nuriko! This is the-"

Nuriko rushed over and gushed, "How pretty! Oh...I heard you're VERY intelligent, ne? Any possibility of making me a woman?" (_Nuriko has long hair again..._)

_The plot thickens..._

Shiyo gaped awhile. "You're not a woman?" She looked at Nuriko intensely. Nuriko laughed, "Of course I'm not! *mutters* If I were, I'd have got Hotohori long ago...Anyway it's all Houki's fault, she stole him from me, that- Oh, never mind, can you make me a woman?"

"Actually...I can..."

Miaka and Nuriko screeched, "YOU CAN?!!!!" Miaka in sheer astonishment and Nuriko in sheer happiness.

"Uh...Yeah... In our planet it's very common, because people there like to play around with other identities... But it's just for fun, so it's not permanent."

"I DON'T CARE! Give the power to me~"

"Uh...Actually it's a potion. It will give you the privilege of changing your gender and after 24 hours, it will wear off. Definitely no side effects and you can't get pregnant or have any interco- Er, okay just remember you can't do anything NC-17. Got it?"

"Got it!" Nuriko rubbed his hands together in glee and said, "Can I have it now?" "All right. Hey, I brought two sets! Anybody else wants the potion? And no, you can't have it again you're only supposed to take it once a month to avoid getting a bad bout of 'flu. Not to mention other sicknesses...Erk. Anyway I can't bring it back, the expiration date is the day after tomorrow. That means it must be consumed today!" Nuriko got a mischievous glint in his eyes. "I know **just **the person who would want it...MUAHAHAHAHA!" Miaka muttered, "Oh no...He'll fry you for sure, Nuriko, trust me." Shiyo looked puzzled. "Huh? Elaborate." "Another day."

"Now, take this with water and stir carefully. It can be added with any fluid to dilute it but it cannot be drunk direct from the vials you'll die I don't know why." Shiyo then took a deep breath and continued, "Just remember, you'll change back in 24 hours. Okay?" Nuriko nodded with ecstasy and planted a kiss on Shiyo's cheek. "THANK YOU!" Then he ran off...

* * *

"Hey Mi, who's the person Nuriko was talking about?" 

"OH. Remember I told you about the guy who really sexist and hates women?"

"Uh-huh."

"That's the one."

"Ooooh..."

* * *

An hour later Tasuki woke up, feeling...Weird.

Then there was another earth shattering scream which resulted in the poor birds flying out of the trees screeching again...

* * *

Bird: Humans...

Bird 2: You can't do anything about it.

Bird: This always happens! Every time somebody screams, we're supposed to screech and fly out of our perches. EVERYBODY knows this scene. So why is it repeated...and repeated...and repeated...

Bird 2: It's a bird's life, you'll get used to it, young 'un.

-OWARI-

_Author's Note: I KNOW this is lame, ok... Flames are UNwelcome, but as the title goes, "If Only..." So, it's my first shot one FY fan-fiction on FF.NET ...please forgive me. Next chapter, _Chiriko_~ Thanks minna._


	2. Chiriko

**Moshimo...**

Note: FY ain't mine. This chp. doesn't really have to do with Shiyo... Oh yeah, let's just say everybody got reincarnated and everything was okay. JUST FINE. Nobody died, that is. And it's pre-OVA. Er...Shiyo is mine. And everybody except Tamahome live in the palace, I dunno why, everybody meaning the Suzaku Shichiseishi. 

_The story begins...As usual._

2 : Chiriko

Shiyo and Miaka roamed the palace grounds. "Hey, Mi, why is that orange-haired bishoujo coming over holding that fan and looking as if she wants to kill me?" Miaka looked up and told her, "Oh. He must have found out you gave the potion to Nuriko, that's all." "What?! It's a he? I can't believe it...She's so pretty..."

"REKKA SHINEN!!!!"

Again, the birds flew out of the trees and screeched.

A fried Shiyo looked at Miaka, who had run away from the flames just in time. "MI~~~ You didn't tell me she- I mean, he has this flame producing element!" Tasuki snarled, "I don't have to look, YOU'RE the one who...who...MADE ME LIKE THIS!"

_Meanwhile, in the great hall, which was under construction... _

"And oxygen is made up of 2 atoms of oxygen, with the formula being O²- OUCH! *swoon*..."

"CHIRIKO!"

Chiriko got hit on the head by a stray wooden block from the ceiling and since no workers were there at the moment, nobody got blamed for it. But Mitsukake was called in to help.

* * *

"Apparently Chiriko has been hit on the head with a fairly solid object and this has affected his frontal lobe, thank goodness his cerebrum wasn't affected," Mitsukake diagnosed. Everybody looked at him blankly. "Speak English, please," Shiyo stated. "I don't speak English." "Heck, speak whatever language you can!" Mitsukake then said, "In simple terms, Chiriko got hit on the head with a wooden block and now he has become..." Mitsukake trailed off.

"Even more intelligent?" the feminine Nuriko quipped.

"Almost as beautiful as me?" Hotohori suggested.

"As piggy as Mi Yuuki?" Shiyo laughed, dodging a deadly blow of prawn crackers from Miaka.

"An idiot no da?" Chichiri said, fearing the worst. He had just woke up and had managed to catch Mitsukake's simple explanation.

"Chichiri is right. Chiriko has lost his seishi intelligence, and his normal intelligence, but I think it's temporary. *I hope it's temporary...*" Mitsukake crossed his fingers behind his back.

_The plot thickens...As usual._

An hour later Chiriko woke up. He looked blankly at everyone in front of him. The 14-year-old started to drool. 

"He's *beeping* doomed!" Tasuki screeched, then glaring at Shiyo, "IT MUST BE YOUR *BEEPING* FAULT YOU *BEEPING* JINX!!!" Shiyo looked offended. "Why you...little...WOMAN!!!" Then she stormed out of the room, as Miaka warned Tasuki, "She might not have a tessen, but her temper sure is fiery...You better watch where you leap, Tasuki." 

Chiriko gurgled, "Nuuuu~" And lurched forward to drool on Nuriko. Screaming, *she* said, "Get of my breasts you little...!" Chiriko looked hurt and lurched towards Tasuki. Tasuki ran away, screaming, causing the birds to fly out of the trees once again. Mitsukake carried Chiriko and told the Shichiseishi, "Don't be afraid, he's just a little...Mentally handicapped right now. His brain is about the size of a cat's." 

"How big is the brain of a cat?" Hotohori picked up Tama-neko and asked Mitsukake while looking at Tama-neko. Mitsukake said, "My cat can't talk!" "I'm asking you, Mits." 

"Er...Look at what Miaka's eating. It's about the size of that." 

A loud 'WHAT?!' from everybody, with the exception of Chichiri who said 'What no da', caused all the birds to fly out of the trees screeching their heads off again. As usual. 

* * * 

Shiyo was fuming in the garden and to let off some steam, she screamed as loud as she could. "I HATE TASUKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!" And yes, the birds flew out of the trees and screeched. 

Then, she sat down at one of the stone chairs. _I can't believe this boy genius who could actually rival MY intelligence which is 201 by the way on Earth's 'Genius-o-meter' has become an idiot, _she thought. Then Miaka came out of the room, looking sad. 

"Hey...Mi, why so sad?" 

"Look at what I'm eating. It's the size of Chiriko's brain. Erk, I don't want to eat them anymore...I feel as if I'm eating Chiriko's brain!" She threw the packet on the floor. 

Shiyo gaped in shock. "His brain's the size of a- Oh I just CAN'T imagine my brain being that size!" 

"Yeah. Who would?" 

"Maybe yours is that size too," Shiyo joked. 

"You still can joke in this type of situation?!" 

_Well, maybe it's true,_ Shiyo thought to herself, grinning. 

"Why are you grinning like this?" 

"Nothing." 

* * * 

Tasuki grumbled, "Nuriko! *beep* Why did you give me that poisoned *beeping* cup of tea?" Nuriko laughed and said, "I just wanted to share my joy with you, pal. OOOH there's Hotohori!" And then *she* rushed off to flirt. 

"Hotohori you notice anything different about me?" Nuriko asked the emperor seductively. Tasuki shook his head and walked off, muttering, "Women...*beep*...They're so *beeping* b*tchy." Then he looked at his chest. "*BEEEEEP* Oh bother. What's so great about boobs anyway?" 

* * * 

"Mit! Tah." Chiriko had defected speech and Mitsukake didn't manage to get EVERYTHING Chiriko _tried_ to say. Chiriko kept voicing his demands for 'tah', whatever it was, and our poor Mits didn't know what to do. But there was somebody who did. 

"Hey Mits!" Shiyo bounded into the room happily. Mitsukake said in a calm tone, "Don't call me Mits, please." "OKAY! I'll call you KAKE!" "........Mits will be fine." 

"Mit! TAH!" Shiyo went over to Chiriko and cooed, "Hey little boy, what do you want?" Chiriko smiled with a type of childish shyness and said softly, "Tah..." "OH! He wants water, Mits! He speaks Signocian...?" "What on Earth's that?!" "It's not on Earth." Seeing Mitsukake's confused expression, Shiyo said, "Never mind." And she went to pour a cup of water for Chiriko. 

* * * 

Half an hour later, Shiyo was rummaging through her pockets for another vial she always brought along with her. _Ah, found it!_ She then took out the strong, corrosive fluid and proceeded to Hotohori's room to ask for permission to use it on the near-death plants. 

When she reached there and knocked on the door, Hotohori shouted as he opened it fiercely, "Do you know that it's a death penalty for ANYONE who DARES to enter or even KNOCK at the Emperor's room?! Now, you've got my face all wrinkled..." Shiyo gaped at him. "Uh...Heiki-sama...I just want to ask whether I could use this to help out our plants? They seem to be dying and this would revive the whole lot and another dying football field..." 

Little did Shiyo know that Tasuki-the-woman was behind her and wanted to trip her over Hotohori's door so he, I mean, she pushed Shiyo and caused the chemical to be splashed on Hotohori's perfect face. 

Nevertheless, the high pitched imperial shriek caused the birds to screech and fly out of their perches again. 

Poor birds. 

-OWARI- 

_Author's note: Big mistake, people. It shouldn't be OWARI it should be TSUTZUKU!!! Argh. An attempt at FY humor, Thursday, 15 November. Flames are most UNwelcome, but please give me your comments. Next chapter, Hotohori, coming up soon. JA~!_


	3. Hotohori

**Moshimo...**

Note: FY ain't mine. Tasuki has really caused a great hoo-ha this time... Oh yeah, let's just say everybody got reincarnated and everything was okay. JUST FINE. Nobody died, that is. And it's pre-OVA. Er...Shiyo is mine. And everybody except Tamahome live in the palace, I dunno why, everybody meaning the Suzaku Shichiseishi. 

_The story begins...For the third time._

3 : Hotohori

Hotohori was in the throne room, wearing a wide-brimmed hat with a veil, covering his terribly disfigured face. Wailing and lamenting and cursing Shiyo softly, he was at a loss. Nuriko was also glaring at Shiyo, *she* hated to see Hotohori so sad. Shiyo was apologising profusely while Tasuki was snickering. Then she glared at Tasuki with a look of pure poison. "We'll talk outside." Tasuki made no motion to move, so Shiyo gritted her teeth and stated, "NOW." Tasuki shrugged, cursed, and strolled out behind Shiyo's urgent steps. 

Shiyo took out a vial and raised it. Tasuki got wary and took out the tessen. Then he 'flamed' her. 

His flame 'backfired'. 

As the flames reached her, Shiyo took out the vial and threw it on the ground, causing a screen to spring up and the flames were shot back at Tasuki. He was fried, and the birds in the trees surrounding them flew up, screeching their heads off. 

Then Chiriko started to cry, causing Shiyo to turn around. Tasuki almost got her, but she ran into Chiriko's room just in time. He had wet himself... 

"Chiriko, look here. Look at this chemical. I know you're not as clever as you were before, but maybe you could remember when this wears off? Come on, smell it!!! You're my only hope..." Shiyo pleaded and looked at the little boy as tears of fear welled up in her eyes. She was afraid that Hotohori would send her to the dungeons of the deepest, darkest basements of the huge palace. Chiriko put a hand on her head, and looked at her with his big, babyish eyes. Then he said, "Kreks tos!!!" sort of triumphantly. Shiyo's eyes widened. "Twenty two? Twenty two hours?! Oh thank heavens, Chiriko, you're a genius!" Hugging him as he drooled on her, she promised to make him well again. "You're a life-saver, Chiri-chan!" Chiriko simply gurgled in sheer happiness, not knowing what he had done. 

* * * 

"IT WILL WEAR OFF IN TWENTY-TWO HOURS!!!" Shiyo screamed as she ran into the throne room, causing the birds outside to screech again, flying out of the trees. Hotohori looked up and brightened, "Really?" Shiyo nodded vigorously. Everybody cheered and Shiyo said, "Now, we have to get Chiriko back in order..." 

* * * 

Tasuki was just outside Chiriko's room when Miaka ran up to him. "Hey, have you seen Mitsukake?" Tasuki replied, "Nope, dunno where he has *beeping* gone to." Miaka argued with him about his use of profanities and they started a fight when Miaka sniffed the air. 

"Tasuki, did you fart?" 

"NO I DIDN'T! I thought it was you." 

"Masaka...!!!" 

"*beep* Uh-oh." 

Tasuki ran into Chiriko's room and saw him sitting in a small pile of... 

* * * 

_No, the plot doesn't thicken THIS time. Sorry._

"I, Yuuki Keisuke, hereby swear never to eat anything cooked by Yuuki Miaka, my sister, again in my life. Unless for some reason I want to commit suicide. Everybody in favour, please groan." The beds beside his groaned. Yui, Taka, Tetsuya and Mrs. Yuuki then said at the same time, "I shouldn't have eaten that strange salami!" Keisuke then said, "Mom, why did you EVER let Miaka cook? I bet if she cooks instant noodles, we'll get food poisoning too!" 

"Now, now, Keisuke, what a bad thing to say about your sister!" 

"Although she is my best friend, Mrs. Yuuki, I agree with Keisuke." 

"I really have nothing to say, I just came over for a meal and look what I got? Three nights in a hospital!" 

"I know she's my girl and all, but Miaka really should've checked the expiry date first..." 

Then they all groaned again. 

**No birds flew up into the sky. Oh well, I guess modern Japan has very few trees and birds.**

* * * 

Hotohori was in his room, asking Houki, "I'm disfigured. Do you still want me?" Houki thought, _Frankly, no. But since you're the emperor, I'll put up with it. _"Of course I do!" 

Nuriko stood jealously outside the room, listening intently. _I bet Houki doesn't want Hotohori...I want him..._ Then Nuriko burst into hears and wailed loudly as *she* ran away. Nevertheless, as everybody heard the birds screeching and flying out of their perches, Shiyo asked, "What was that?" (She meant Nuriko's wailing.) Chichiri shrugged. "Probably some wild beast no da." "Oh." 

* * * 

Miaka was absently chewing on a walnut when Shiyo came up to her later that day. "Boy, this has been one hectic day. Mi, why are you eating Chiriko's brain?!" "Huh? OH!" She hurriedly threw the walnut away. _I really can't believe Chiriko's brain is actually the size of a walnut..._ "Hello, Mi, you there? Earth to Mi!" 

"Huh? Oh. Yes?" 

"Why are you so distracted all of a sudden?" 

"*sighs* Ever since I came, so many bad things have happened..." 

"It's not your fault! Don't be so superstitious. Anyway you're better off than me, **you** don't have an enemy." 

"Enemy?" 

"Tasuki...grrr...That b*tch thinks she's so great just because she's got big boobs!" 

"*sweatdrops* Shiyo... Language please, this is a PG fic!" 

"*looks at reader* Sorry! Hehe." 

"I miss Japan..." 

"Go back then!" 

"I've been here for barely 10 hours! And anyway, time passes differently in Japan than here." 

"*suddenly getting one of her mood swings* I HATE TASUKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!" 

The birds flew out of the trees, screeching, as Miaka sweatdropped. 

* * * 

Mother bird: Here children, I've brought you some juicy worms! 

*Shiyo screams* 

Mother bird: Hang on, I have to screech and fly out of here for awhile... 

Baby birds, to each other: Humans are baaaaaaaad! 

*Mother bird hears them and says to herself, "I shouldn't have had that affair with that ram...They sound just like their father. People will notice, afterall."* 

-TSUTSUKU- 

_Author's note: The last paragraph IS pretty lame, anyway flames are **still** **un**welcome, next and final chapter, Happily Ever After In a Fairy Tale World, coming up later...I hope. And yes, Chiriko's intelligence has shrunk to about the size of that of a cat's, which brain is about the size of a walnut. Arigato, minna!_


End file.
